living the childhood dream

Today, my sister and i decided which disney princess we best represent. Here's what we've concluded.

She's Snow White, because i think the contrast of her hair and eyes on her skin. She's kind of Jasmine too(and she thinks her bf's Aladdin), but we concluded that she wants to be fair so she should be Snow White.

I think I'm Rapunzel (who's not originally from Disney) from Tangled. The short-haired, brunette version.

So well, and they all lived happily ever after.

THE END.

i know this sounds silly (and willful almost) but,

i can't help but think that my life would be so different if i weren't born here.

heck, i think even i would be different.

what's with all the angst lately. geez.

i know, i know

Just let me rant.

I know everyone who grew up wants to be younger, but I WANT TO JUST STAY 17 okay? please. ): okay perhaps 18, then i won't miss out on the M18 movies, but who cares about M18 movies when you have torrent? ;D

so many things i would have tried (what's the point of regretting?!) so many more i'd want to. But, i have to buy myself a few more years of youth. now, where's that fountain of youth they keep mentioning? give me a map, i'll fight my way there.

looking at young people don't help (do you think it'll help if i immerse myself in that environment?) much less having a sister 5 years younger than me. i want to be young again. i don't ask for much, just keep me at 18. let me be at 18. i'm turning 23): the sound of that irks me, and the sight of it hurts my eyes.

As depressing as it sounds, at least i'm closer to having my own home i suppose. OMG, NO. i'd rather be 18 and not have my own home.

keep me young?

2012 - Nah.

i was seriously trying to get down on doing my assignment. and started googling for ideas on science experiments. pity how our teachers don't post ideas freely online and i'm left to pick among the american syllabus to modify and/or envy (cuz there are some topics i really would like to teacher e.g. space) since our syllabus don't exactly match. So anyways, i found this instead, and had a good laugh.

Teacher Phobias 

Redundaphobia – the fear that, even outside of school, you will begin repeating everything 3 times to make sure others understand 

Sneakasnackaphobia – the fear a student will surreptitiously eat a candy bar in your classroom and find out, quite by accident, that he has a peanut allergy 

Paperpilephobia – fear that if you don’t put off all of that paperwork from the office, they’ll think you have plenty of time to do nothing but their paperwork 

Coldandfluaphobia – the fear that every virus that enters your classroom is looking specifically for you 

Atontogradeaphobia – the fear that every single student will turn in a project two hours before your grades are due 

Chickenpattaphobia – the fear that the three-week-old chicken-patty-on-a-bun under the heat lamp in the school cafeteria will be yours on the day you forget your lunch 

Budgetcutaphobia – the fear that the next published set of school budget cuts will include a photo of you 

Infinitaphobia – The fear that the faculty meeting that seems endless really is 

Applicaphobia – the fear that the student you’ve been urging to apply himself to his work will instead apply himself to making your life miserable for the rest of the year 

Lovasubaphobia – the fear that everyone at school will like your substitute teacher more than they like you 

Achapteraheadaphobia – the fear that your students will learn the material faster than you can plan the lessons 

Gottagoaphobia – the fear that the coffee that keeps you alert will also keep you dancing around for the last twenty minutes of class 

Adminlistaphobia – the fear that the stupid chain joke you just sent to a colleague was actually accidentally sent to every administrator in the school district 

Typographophobia – the fear that the newsletter on grammar and spelling that you sent home includes a number of misspelled words and punctuation errors 

Observatiophobia – the fear that you’ll discover in the middle of your administrator-observed class that you’ve planned a twenty-minute lesson for an eighty-minute class 

Desksquishaphobia – The fear that the student desks that are migrating closer to the front of the classroom every day will eventually crush you against the whiteboard (though the opposite seems more likely to happen here.)

Theyllbebackaphobia - the fear that the worst behaved kids will be the ones that won't pass to the next grade.

the woes of being a teacher. HAHA! Gonna have it printed out and stuck to my desk someday. Its good to have a term for each 'phobia'. LOL. My fav? observatiophobia. PRACTICUM IN 5 WEEKS. no, actually, after this, FOUR. 0.o

mindlessness

i realised that i've neglected this dusty spot in the world wide web. hello WWWebers. i guess that's good in a way, meaning i'm actually busy in my actual non virtual life. i like that.

on a totally random note, i had a fan dream today. and that left me waking up in awe. in my dreams. IN MY DREAMS i repeat. but it was so good. if i wasn't already late, i would have slept on. 

Speaking of which, my brains have been all over the place recently. GOODNESS ME. i am so pissed with my goldfish memory. i think i need a brain upgrade. or maybe an effort upgrade? eitherways, let today be a lesson to me, missing my lesson and forgetting to call up to book my physio appointment. i literally loathe my mindlessness through the core of my brains. argh. its bloody annoying. especially in times like NOW, and also, those when you're trying to recall something and its at the tip of your tongue/ top of your brain, you can remember, but not quite moments. sucks)): i'm disgusted with myself for that.

on a lighter note, i baked. YES! i did! 2 bread and some recipe-less cookie. 

and the thing is, ME, the non iphone fan (nothing against it, just never thought of owning one) got an iphone4gS, from the bf! its limited edition too. Can you believe it? hahaha =D let me put some pictures in.

Isn't it awesome? got to hand it to him when it comes to hand made cards. <3

so enough gloating, i shall end the post off with a resolution:

Organise activities by writing them down in my schedule book.

hearts

heart and soul.

please don't waver, dreams are weaving.

i can't change my stand!

the thing is, the more i see it, the further i feel i'm away from it.

start dreaming

with 2 more weeks till the end of this semester,

here's what i've got to accomplish:

2 individual essays

1 lesson plan

1 scheme of work

1 group essay + compilation of every awesome lesson plans and scheme of work

exam

here's what i'm thinking about:

what i'm going to do this holiday

I think we can all agree that there's a problem. 

i wonder where all the focus i used to have has gone, and why is it not coming back. do we get ADHD as we grow older? or is it just a procrastination thing?

impressions

took a peek, i think i semi guess-judged. i think it'll take some time to learn acceptance without judgement (i am afterall only human), funny how i care so much about something that doesn't concern me, or maybe it does, slightly.

Family ties, blood's thicker than water

NOMs.

When I'm all stressed out like that, I start my junk food binge. 

This is seriously BAD.

But, I can't stop. I need intervention. =\

p/s: as i type, the chicken nuggets are toasting in the oven. *drools*

everytime

i disappoint myself a little more. damn.

HUNGRY

i'm so hungry, but my stomach is so unsettled that whatever i eat wants to make its way out through my mouth):

and chef John isn't helping!

Chef John! i'm so mad at you! why are you so awesomeeee??!!??!!

so wonderful, melancholy

I hope she wins. <3

how could she not?

Hello frienemy.

Shit happens.

This is what i MUST do

I should have done this before my assignments were due.

I SHOULD HAVE.

sometimes.

the night always brings some sort of nostalgia for me. especially when it gets real quiet, and i sit alone, listening to all the songs on my playlist. it's one of those times where words are not enough to describe all the emotions that overcome you in the span of a song, and how many things hit you and how deep your mind goes into that memory pool of yours and its like your life is on auto playback. you know those movies where they show people's lives flash before their eyes before they die? well its something like that, but no i'm not dying. and then i sit in bed feeling exhausted. because of all the thoughts. good ones, bad ones, things we wished hadn't happen, thing we wish would happen differently. it's all there, 22 years of my life, consolidated in my playlist, and whatever atmosphere that the night brings. it's just, different.